Cute & Funny Dog Quotes

If you are looking for a good chuckle about your furry friend, then you have come to the right place. Enjoy these cute and funny dog quotes curated by the Vuify review team.

“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley

“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” -Anne Tyler

“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” -Bonnie Schacter

“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” -Jonah Goldberg

“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!” -George Carlin

“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” -Groucho Marx

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” -Marilyn Monroe

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” –Derek Bruce

“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” -Ann Landers

“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” -Greg Curtis

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” -Dave Barry

“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” –Aldous Huxley

“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” -Sue Murphy

“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” -Charlotte Gray

“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted” -Sian Ford

“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” -Helen Thomson

“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” -John Grogan

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” -John Steinbeck

“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” –Jay London

“Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers.” -Jodi Picoult

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. ” – Robert Benchley

“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry Truman

“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” – Fran Lebowitz

“When an 85 pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” – Kristan Higgins

If you enjoyed these funny quotes on canines, you will love all the humour content at Vuify.

Funny Quotes From The World’s Funniest People

Relax, laugh and have a good time with these quotes from some of the funniest people in showbiz, all curated by the Vuify review team.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Mitch Hedberg

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright

I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. Golda Meir

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose. Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld

I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg

I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

For plenty more good humour, check out the entire collection at Vuify.

Funny books for troubling times

If you are looking for some fun books to brighten up your day, take a look at these curated by the Vuify review team.

Scoop by Evelyn Waugh (1938)

There’s a side-story in Scoop where a journalist is dispatched by train to cover a Balkan state’s revolution. He falls asleep and wakes in the wrong country and, oblivious to his mistake, heads straight for a hotel where he "[cables] off a thousand-word story about barricades in the streets, flaming churches, machine guns answering the rattle of his typewriter.” Despite it being made up, his story spurs a Fleet Street feeding frenzy for his phantom revolution, sparking a real one in its place. "There," Waugh concludes, "is the power of the press for you."

You won’t read a more astute satire of Her Majesty’s Press than Scoop, in which a newspaper mistakenly dispatches its mild-mannered nature columnist to cover a war (because he shares a surname with the paper’s star-reporter) and accidentally lands the scoop of the year. Full of technicolour characters and pinpoint persiflage, it lampoons the absurdity of the 20th-century journalism of what is widely acknowledged as the unrivalled masterpiece of Fleet Street takedowns.

Carry On, Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse (1925)

No writer better conjures a specific period in history than P. G. Wodehouse. His name alone is synonymous with a vanished time of upper-class Edwardian England when wars were won on cups of tea, cricket ruled the waves, and lunch was always soup and fish. And yet, his stories – and humour – are timeless.

Of them, none are funnier than those of bumbling Bertie Wooster and his bacon-saving butler Jeeves. Carry On, Jeeves starts the journey of Bertie, the what-hoing toff who, time and again, falls into the soup, only for Jeeves to fish him out. The Jeeves-Wooster relationship has comic energy like none you’ll read again.

But it is his one-liners, more than his characters, that have stood the test of time. Such as this, the best-ever description of the crepuscular charm of the end of a warm day: "It was one of those still evenings you get in the summer when you can hear a snail clear its throat a mile away."

For more great funny humour reads, check out Vuify.

Best Horror Audiobooks That Will Send Chills into Your Spine

People love listening to horror audiobooks. They arouse negative stimuli, which improves their mood significantly. They also enhance your brain activity, making you more alert and attentive. Here are some of the best horror audiobooks that will help you be confident and face the fear.

Ellie Marney's None Shall Sleep

Originally published in September 2020, this audiobook is narrated by Christine Lakin, Jake Abel, Zach Villa, and Maxwell Hamilton. Set in the year 1982, the story follows the FBI investigators they are focusing on rampant cold cases of murder that involved juveniles. A serial killer survivor and a US Marshall join hands to unravel the mystery behind it. Emma Lewis, the survivor, gets closer to agent Travis Bell when more info gets in.

Tananarive Due’s My Soul to Keep

Jessica doesn’t know that her hubby David is immortal from an Ethiopian sect dating back 400 years ago. He is everything she has: A very loving husband who has a beautiful family and a home they built together. Hell breaks loose when she finds out that he is planning on sacrificing her with the daughter too. The narrator of this audiobook is Peter Francis James.

Claire Legrand's Saw-kill Girls

This audiobook has managed to turn fear into power after the author crafted every character with incredible finesse, more like an ogre. It’s enticing to listen to, with the chilly story narrated by Lauren Ezzo.

If you are a horror fanatic, sign up with www.vuify.com.

A couple of female fictional detectives who have broken the mould

With the notable exception of Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple, most fictional detectives tend to be men. They’ll either be heavy drinkers or smokers – or both – and come with a whole lot of baggage. Well, modern mystery fiction has seen many more female detectives take centre stage and here are a couple who have broken the mould.

Alex Morrow

Morrow features in a five-book series by Scottish novelist Denise Mina. Morrow makes her first appearance in the novel Still Midnight, which is described as ‘Tartan Noir’. She is called in todeal with what initially seemed like an armed robbery in the home of a respectable Asian family in the Glasgow suburbs, but which quickly escalated into a botched kidnapping. Trying to zero in on the bigger issues at play, Morrow must also fight a battle of her own for credibility among her mainly male colleagues.

Not only that, but DS Morrow has a family at home to juggle as well as she seeks to prove her capability and carve out her own space.

Darlene O’Hara

In many ways, O’Hara epitomizes the hard-boiled New York detective. Hard drinker, no-nonsense but deeply intuitive. In other ways, she couldn’t be further from a Chandler creation. O’Hara features in the novels of Peter de Jonge - Buried on Avenue B and Shadows Still Remain - exude a noirish sensibility combined with gritty, contemporary issues.

O’Hara became an NYPD detective after first being a teenage mother to sone Axl Rose and has a refreshingly relatable side to her otherwise brilliant and incisive character.

Discover more stories of mystery and intrigue with the books from www.vuify.com.

The greatest mystery fiction quotes

For all fans of mystery novels you will love these quotes from some of the greatest mystery fiction authors.  

"It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story." - AGATHA CHRISTIE

"I had, I now realized, forgotten the best of them all, that solver and creator of great mysteries, Dr. Freud. Contemporary with Sherlock Holmes, writing up cases like his own Watson, his practice and methods were oddly similar to Holmes’s. They both even did coke. Always the case began with a client arriving in his dusty, cluttered study, full of books and relics, to tell the great man of what was missing or lost. Always he set out by listening, in a wreath of smoke, by noticing the clues, and by diligently, patiently, fearlessly following where they led, which was always into the past, kingdom of lost things, and where, at the end of the story, which is always the discovery of its beginning, there is always a crime." - DAVID GORDON

"I have never felt the slightest inclination to apologize for my tastes; nor to shrink from declaring that mystery or detective novel boldly upholds the principle, in defiance of contemporary sentiment, that infinite Mystery, beyond that of the finite, may yield to human ratiocination: that truth will “out”: that happiness is possible once Evil is banished: and that God, though, it seems, withdrawn at the presnt time from both Nature and History, is yet a living presence in the world,—an unblinking eye that sees all, absorbs all, comprehends all, each and every baffling clue; and binds all multifariousness together in a divine unity….thus, in emulation of God, the detective aspires to invent that which already exists, in order to see what is there before his (and our) eyes. He is the very emblem of our souls, a sort of mortal savior, not only espying but isolating, and conquering, Evil; in his triumph is our triumph." - JOYCE CAROL OATES

"Rüya knew Galip couldn’t bear her detective novels…He detested this world where the English were parodies of Englishness and no one was fat unless they were colossally so; the murderers were as artificial as their victims, serving as only clues in a puzzle…Galip had once told Rüya that the only detective book he’d ever want to read would be one in which not even the author knew the murderer’s identity. Instead of decorating the story with clues and red herrings, the author would be forced to come to grips with his characters and his subject, and his characters would have a chance to become people in a book instead of just figments of their author’s imagination." - ORHAN PAMUK

"The most curious fact about the detective story is that it makes its greatest appeal precisely to those classes of people who are most immune to other forms of daydream literature. The typical detective story addict is a doctor or clergyman or scientist or artist…. I suspect that the typical reader of detective stories is, like myself, a person who suffers from a sense of sin…. The phantasy, then, which the detective story addict indulges is the phantasy of being restored to the Garden of Eden, to a state of innocence, where he may know love as love and not as the law. The driving force behind this daydream is the feeling of guilt, the cause of which is unknown to the dreamer. The phantasy of escape is the same, whether one explains the guilt in Christian, Freudian, or any other terms. One’s way of trying to face the reality, on the other hand, will, of course, depend very much on one’s creed." - W.H. AUDEN

"It's a damn good story. If you have any comments, write them on the back of a check." - ERLE STANLEY GARDNER

"The detective isn't your main character, and neither is your villain. The main character is the corpse. The detective's job is to seek justice for the corpse. It's the corpse's story, first and foremost." - ROSS MACDONALD

For more great mystery, check out www.vuify.com.

What is noir and how does it differ from mainstream mystery fiction?

The allure of a good mystery or crime fiction novel is often the puzzle that is set and then solved by the main investigator – usually a detective – who takes the praise and plaudits a hero deserves and wraps everything nicely up with a bow.

However, the way the genre has evolved and diverged over the years, the lines between good and evil, right and wrong, have become more blurred. This moral ambiguity has led to the rise of the noir sub-genre.

It’s no coincidence that ‘noir’ is a word meaning black or dark as this is very much at the heart of the inner-conflict of our so-called hero.

Often the central figure is a detective or other law enforcement figure who is brilliant yet flawed and walks a moral tightrope when he or she feels they are getting closer to cracking the case.

Readers are usually left with the impression that the ‘hero’ might be as likely to commit a crime as solve one.

Invariably, they are battling against some vice, whether it be drink, sex, gambling or a predilection for violence – which threatens to be their downfall at any point of the piece.

A good noir novel will combine deep, psychology examination of the main protagonist with suspenseful action.

A classic example of a modern noir protagonist is Harry Hole, the police inspector who features in many of the novels of Norwegian author Jo Nesbo.

Harry Hole is an alcoholic whose all-consuming methods often drag those around him into his self-destructive circle. He frequently compromises his own personal safety and bends the limits of the law to catch the criminal.

Find more absorbing mystery with the books from www.vuify.com.