Funny Book Quotes For Rolling on the Floor Laughing

Sometimes we just need to brighten our days with a good laugh, and these funny book quotes should do just that, collected by the Vuify review team.

Martha: “You make me puke.” George: “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say.” – Edward Albee

“‘Manners, Potter,’” said Snape dangerously.”‘Now, I want you to close your eyes.’” Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand.” – J.K. Rowling

“At his usual time [Alexey Alexandrovitch] got up and made his toilet for the night.” – Leo Tolstoy

“I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.” – Bill Bryson

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” – Seth Grahame-Smith and Jane Austen

“For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple–I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.” – Janet Evanovich

“It wasn’t until I had become engaged to Miss Piano that I began avoiding her.” – Peter De Vries

“The morning after noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the 19th time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath. Colin had always preferred baths.” – John Green

“Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu.” – Ha Jin

“We’re going to tell you about three of the children in Mrs. Jewls’s class, on the thirtieth story of Wayside School. But before we get to them, there is something you ought to know. Wayside School was accidentally built sideways. It was supposed to be only one story high, with thirty classrooms all in a row. Instead, it is thirty stories high, with one classroom on each story. The builder said he was very sorry.” – Louis Sachar

“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.” – John Wyndham

“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression ‘As pretty as an airport.’” – Douglas Adams

“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.” – William Goldman

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